Girlfriend Collision

This story is more complicated than I am willing to fully go into, but at a past time in history I may have once been in a girlfriend collision. This is serious, believe you me. We were at a friends house party, and at our ages, well we shouldn't have been drinking, I'll just put it that way.

My girlfriend at the time and I had decided to take a walk since it was nice outside in that early summer time evening weather. We ventured a few blocks away but then decided to turn back and return to the party. About a block away from the house, someone, I think, instigated a race? I'm not sure which one of us, or why, that's why this is called Stories of a Drunkard.

We bolted, ran fast, but I didn't want to trip and kill myself, so I held back and kept pace with her pretty well up to the driveway of the house, until it all went wrong. You see, we hadn't defined, to my knowledge, where the actual endpoint of the race was. I think the description may have been as vague as simply "the house" which is obviously not a detailed enough description as you will see.

We both approached the driveway almost neck and neck, and the house came fully into view as we rounded the corner of the fenced in yard. I had to then suddenly choose where I was to enter the house and thereby win the race. This is the important bit here. I chose the front door, which I figured was the closest entrance. My girlfriend had an opposite opinion however.

Unfortunately for both of us we did not agree on the best entrance, since my girlfriend decided to use the side door. That isn't why we collided however, it was because I was behind after losing time on the outside of the last corner and suddenly sprinted fastest at the last seconds of the race, cutting across some grass and shaving a small bit of distance. Since it was pretty dark, and no house lights were on to aid my poor night vision, I didn't realize her choice of entrance until far too late.


We collided, in a horribly violent, painful crash. We bashed our heads together, causing the rim of my glasses to be driven up toward the top of my eye socket, and tearing a small gash over my left eye, while my girlfriend fell and possibly, probably concussed her cranium off the concrete.

The lesson was to never run when your drunk, or really try to do too much of anything coordinated. A lot of other crazy things happened that night, but I'll leave it at that, perhaps more for another time.

Cheers!